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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Some fun


You know you’re in med school when…

Your highlighter runs out of ink.
Your hands always smell of cadaver fixative.
You hear someone say a drug name/structure/whatever, obviously mispronounce it, and you get annoyed.
You can remember the Krebs Cycle, but not your phone number.
The name Robbins is as familiar to you as your last name.
You're wife tells you you smell like a band-aid when you get home at night
You can discuss cadaver dissection while eating dinner.
you find yourself talking about which post office innervates your neighborhood and whether or not two highways anastomose.
You're sitting between two people who are mindlessly spinning their pens around their thumbs during lecture.
when you realize that you are an average student and that it's ok
You tell your girlfriend to look lateral to the cereal to find the salt
when you take notes while watching ER or Grey's Anatomy
and when something you saw on ER/Grey’s anatomy shows up on a quiz or test.
 You own a 4-color pen and it's not enough colors for you
You have used up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months
You have highlighted something you wrote
You skip class to study
You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Arthritis
You have made a medical joke and no one laughed
SOB means shortness of breath to you
You know how to calculate specificity, positive predictive value, and anion gap
Anatomy makes you hungry
Your eyesight has worsened by 10 points or more in the last 4 years
You have debated between giving up eating or sleeping in order to find more time to study
You start studying for the boards more than 2 months in advance
When you're lifting at the gym and are staring at your muscles, not because of their size, but because you're trying to see their attachments and origins through the skin.
you see an attractive girl in a bikini but the first thought that comes to your mind is palpating her liver border
When you insist that someone in a photo is on the right. "No no no, the other right, the patients right."
You look forward to weekends not because you can sit back and relax and hang out with friends but because it means you have more time to study and catch up and dare I say? get ahead??
You feel superior to the 10am kids in college when your first class is at the asscrack of dawn.
You tell your friends in high school to enjoy it because they just dont know.
Reading 200+ pages over the weekend? easy. Trying to figure out how to sit back and relax? impossible.
You lose touch with whats popular on the radio or on television. The second that something new has changed with insurance, politicians & their plans for insurance, any change to anything USLME or med school or residency? You're the first to know.
Your friend says casually, "Ooh, I think I'm getting a headache," and the first things that pop into your head are:


1) When did the pain start?
2) Does the pain radiate anywhere?
3) Does anything make it feel better or worse?
You have an acronym for everything.


You have a differential diagnosis for your own abdominal pain that includes names of pathogens.


You diagnose members of the general public with diseases
You think " *courtesy of wikipedia" should be somewhere on your diploma.


You think you have whatever disease you’re learning about… every week.
You think " *courtesy of wikipedia" should be somewhere on your diploma.


You think you have whatever disease you’re learning about… every week.
You come to realize how normal handwriting can evolve into chicken scratch as you witness yours make the transformation.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

First post written whilst almost drunk


Ok, heres the deal. I just finished a bottle of wine  (roughly 7 standard drinks), and I'm writing a post to try to document my expriences before I forget. Before I get stuck into it, I apologise for any spelling mistakes I am sure to make, for after all, I AM almost drunk.

Ok, so I guess the first question would be how do I feel? The answer is, a little nauseaus, hopefully I don't throw up on my keyboard ^__^". Otherwise, I feel fine. Apart from the way my brain is throbbing and the way my vision is starting to blur. Oh god I need to pee. (news break: alcohol is a diuretic). Also my face is on fire. Next question please.

Why did you drink a bottle of wine?
Becuase I had random bottle of wine to boot. And I almost got drunk last week at pre-drinks. And I'm a med student and absolutely love alcohol. Actually no, scratch the last bit, I've never gotten this drunk before. The fact that I'm typing coherent sentences (I hope) means that I'm not even that drunk (I hope). But I know that I'm not sobre. As suggested by my speeling mistakes. Lol. And use of lol in that last sentence. Frick. I'm drunk. 

Arn't you supposed to be doing homework?
Yes... so?

What will S think?
I'm not sure. Probably that I'm a terrible boyfriend. And that I'm not good enough. Fuck. Yeah, I'm drunk. Bite me.

Why did I drink a bottle of wine?
Huh... deja vu... Cos my vision is starting to go really blurry, and I still need to brush my teeth. And I also needed to update my blog. GOD I NEED TO PEE. 

I hope I actually remember typing this...

Please don't laugh at me too hard.